


The One Where They're Up All Night (without pants)

by kioseth



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Exposed, Hand Jobs, Humiliation, M/M, Pantsing, Public Nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 14:49:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19428190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kioseth/pseuds/kioseth
Summary: Joey and Ross are stranded on the roof and while trying to get down accidentally get pantsed.





	The One Where They're Up All Night (without pants)

“You should know, my pants are starting to come down and I’m not wearing any underwear!”

“What?! Joey! Why aren’t you wearing underpants?”

“First, Ross, don’t call them underpants. You sound like my grandma. And second, I didn’t think you’d be hanging off my legs tonight!”

“My god.”

Ross looked down the 15 feet to the ground, still terrified to drop. The idea of Joey’s dick in his face was unbearable but not as much as a broken leg.

“I.. I don’t think I can do it Joe.”

“You better make a decision quick Ross.”

Ross looked up at Joey whose expression was big eyed and alarming. A small glance down made it clear to Ross why he was so anxious. Joey’s pubes were right in front of his face. Ross couldn’t help but notice Joey kept himself manicured down there before shaking his head and looking away. 

“Dammit Joey!”

“What? Ross stop being such a baby! Drop down already.”

“I can’t! I’m too scared!”

The denim in Ross’s hands slipped further and as he pulled himself up to avoid falling, it happened. Joey’s cock was there. Well, not just his cock, his whole package was an inch in front of Ross’s face. 

Ross couldn’t help his morbid curiosity and stole a glance. He instantly sized him up and mentally compared himself to his friend. Although soft, Joey seemed to be a lot thicker than himself. Circumcised just like Ross though. It’d be hard to tell who was actually ‘bigger’ but Ross noted that at the very least he knew his balls were bigger than Joey’s by a good margin.

“So?” Joey asked.

“Joey, I’m not commenting on your genitals.”

“What? No, you freak! So are you jumping or what?”

Oh… “I.. I don’t think so.”

“Dammit Ross, fine. I’ll do it. I’m feeling a little exposed right now anyway.”

Ross was secretly happy at this trade. Sure he had to come face-to-crotch with Joey’s goods but it meant he wouldn’t have to jump after all.

“Okay. Thanks Joe. I’m climbing up.”

“You don’t have to narrate, man.”

Ross started to climb his friend but couldn’t get traction with his legs. As he reached up towards Joey’s shoulder he slipped and fell a few inches. As he yelped, Ross scrambled for traction. His legs flailed wildly and Ross clung tightly to his friend.

This caused two things to happen quickly. One, Ross’s feet found traction in the crotch of Joey’s jeans which pushed them down and off. They floated down to the street (at least dodging the patch of reddish-brown liquid). Second…

“Dammit Ross! You took off my pants!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Ross was near hyper-ventaliting. His life had flashed before his eyes.

“Ugh. And will you please get your face off my dick?”

“Wha?”

Second, in his death grip of fear, Ross had pressed himself tightly against Joey and happened to plant his cheek and the side of his lips squarely on Joey’s exposed cock.

“BAH!”

Ross threw his head back quickly which caused them to sway a bit. 

“Watch it man!” Joey yelled.

“Easy for you to say! You didn’t have a penis shoved on your face.”

“Hey, I haven’t gotten many complaints.” Joey teased.

“Joey! This isn’t funny.”

“It kinda is.”

Having regained his composure Ross started to climb back up, this time successfully grabbing onto Joey’s shoulder. He was next able to grab the rung of the ladder and slowly pull himself up. Once up, he looked down to give Joey a hand and pull him up. He had to admit it was ridiculous (and a little funny) to see his friend, bottomless, hanging from a fire escape out in public.

Pulling him up finally, Joey made no effort to cover himself. 

“Okay, give me a minute to regain some arm strength before dropping down.”

“Uh, Joey, mind covering yourself up?”

“Nah, I’m good. I’m a little warm anyway.”

“Aren’t you worried someone will see?!”

“Why? I got nothing to be ashamed about? And besides, if they do maybe they’ll call for help. You hear that New York? Anyone wanna take a peek?”

Joey shook his hips back and forth making his dick slap against his thighs a few times. The sound it made was part disgusting and part intriguing to Ross. 

They debated on whether Joey should cover up at all for when he would shimmy down Ross but he couldn’t use his shirt because it would restrict his movement. He could wear Ross’s pants but Ross didn’t want to give them up. They reckoned that since he had already been close to it, it wouldn’t matter if Joey’s junk was close to his face briefly again.

Once Ross was steadily hanging from the ladder, Joey began to crawl down. As expected, Joey’s cock was front and center in Ross’s face first. He couldn’t turn away this time either. In hindsight Ross may realize that he could have just closed his eyes but he didn’t. Instead he looked right at it. Had it grown since before? It was definitely looking both thicker and longer.

“Like the view?”

“Joey! Please keep going!”

“Not the first time someone’s yelled that at me.” Joey laughed at his own sexual joke while Ross groaned, cock still in his face.

Joey shimmied down to Ross’s midsection and would be embarrassed to admit he had gotten a little hard. It was purely the contact and high stress Joey would tell himself. Luckily Ross couldn’t see Joey’s hard dick bobbing between his own legs. That’s when Joey had a funny idea to get even. 

“Wha? JOEY! What are you doing?!”

Joey’s teeth had perfected the ability to undo clothing long ago and were making their moves on Ross’s khakis. 

“Just getting even buddy, one second.”

“Joey! No! This isn’t funny!”

Ross couldn’t believe it. Joey was trying to get his pants off. It’s not like he purposefully depantsed Joey! And as pissed as he was, Ross was also terrified because the oral stimulation on his crotch was having a PURELY biological effect on him.

“Joey! Joey! Stop! Please!”

“Mm-mmallmost.”

All-too-quickly, Ross heard the button of his pants snap and his zipper pulled down. “There we go!”

“Joey! You’ve had your fun now PLEASE just jump down and get us out of this mess!”

“I will, I will. But first I have to make us match!”

“JOEY!” 

Ross felt Joey’s grip with one arm tighten as his other arm reached down and into the back of Ross’s pants AND underwear. Although Joey’s hand was gloved, the touch on his bare ass was terrifying and electric. Joey edged his pants and underwear down bit by bit with Ross pleading for him to stop. In a matter of seconds Joey was going to not only expose Ross but see the boner Ross was desperately trying to hide. 

“Heeeere…. We.. go!”

“JOEY NO!”

With the waist of Ross’s pants and and underwear past the bottom of his ass, the front of both snapped down quickly to mid-thigh on his front. In doing so, Ross’s cock snapped up as well, hitting Joey right in the face. 

“Damn!”

“Joey, nooooo!”

Ross wiggled a little, absolutely mortified. This only had the effect of slapping Joey a few times in the face with his boner. 

“Ross! Stop moving!”

“Joey! Why would you do this?!”

“I don’t know now! I thought it would be funny but I don’t like it!”

“Just, just jump down already.”

“Okay, okay. Damn, Ross, you have some huge nuts!”

“JOEY! Don’t look at them!”

“Kind of hard not too!”

“JOEY!”

“Okay, I’m going to drop.”

A few moments of silence. “It’s ah.. It’s a little far.”

“Joey! No! Do not back out! You HAVE to jump down there now!”

“I dunno Ross! I could really get hurt.”

“I DON’T CARE! MY DICK IS OUT. JUMP!”

“Ummm okay. I’m gonna do it…”

Another few moments of silence. 

“I CAN’T DO IT MAN!”

“Dammit Joey!”

“I’m coming up!”

“Joey!”

Joey ignored Ross’s pleas and screams. In the moment Joey was a bit too scared to realize that in climbing back up his own, hard cock was rubbing against Ross’s. Something Ross was hyper aware of but made no mention of. With Joey’s last lunge up the same thing happened to Ross’s bottoms as they were kicked down and off his legs. Not so luckily, landing right in the reddish-brown gunk.

As Joey made the last pull up onto the ladder, Ross was greeted again with Joey’s crotch in his face but this time no question that Joey was sporting wood. So much so that it tapped Ross’s face a couple times. 

Now, accidentally, Ross could size Joey up perfectly. Joey was shorter than Ross’s own 7 inches, probably 6 inches, maybe a little less; but man was he thick. Ross guessed Joey’s cock would give a beer can a run for its money.

Finally Joey climbed up and Ross followed up after him. Ross DID cover himself in shame but Joey stood there arms on his side breathing heavily as his cock bobbed quickly with his pulse. 

Having given up on options regarding jumping down, they made their way back to the roof. Their only option was to wait until morning when someone would notice they didn’t come home last night and come find them. 

“I guess we’re sleeping up here tonight,” Ross conceded. 

“Looks that way, pal.”

Joey’s boner had waned as had Ross’s but Ross was still too bashful to remove his hands from his crotch. 

They discussed how they should sleep but two things were clear after attempting to lay on the floor, it was too cold and rough to be comfortable on. It was Ross who finally recommended an alternative but neither of them were too excited about it. In the end, it was the best option though.

They removed their coats, shirts, and undershirts to make a makeshift blanket to put on the ground. There was enough room for them to lay on top of it, insulating them from the rough and cold ground. This left them fully naked and exposed but by huddling together they figured they’d be able to stay warm enough. It’s not like this was the first time they had napped together (although was certainly the first AND last time it would be nude). 

It didn’t take them long to fall asleep after the physical ordeal they had been through.

Morning came quickly to Ross from his dreamless sleep. He was slightly straddling Joey, who was laying flatly on his back. 

Ross blinked his eyes a few times, adjusting to the daylight, when he noticed that Joey was hard. Morning wood. Ross was quickly, painfully aware that he too was hard, his cock pressed up against Joey’s hip. 

Ross quietly rolled off Joey slightly and hearing Joey’s snore, figured it would be okay to take a quick peek again at his friend’s junk. JUST to compare.

Where Ross’s cock laid flat against his stomach, Joey’s stood up at about a 45 degree angle. Joey was also leaking a decent amount of precum onto his own stomach. The thrill of this was intense for Ross. He was positive he was straight but hey, all guys are a bit curious. And this cock is right in front of him. 

He reached down to his own tool and tilted it up away from his body to try and compare better. He could still easily tell that Joey was thicker but Ross couldn’t quite make out the length comparison. 

Emboldened by his own morning wood-induced horniness and the snores of Joey. He reached over with his left hand and grasped Joey’s thick member. It was so warm!

Ross tilted it up to match his own vertical dick to better compare. As Ross expected, he was bigger. He realized he may have given more credit to Joey last night though. Joey was probably only about 5 to 5.5 inches long but Ross couldn’t help but be jealous by the thickness. He took a firmer hold of his friend’s cock and sadly and shockingly couldn’t wrap his big hand around it fully, unlike his own where his middle finger and thumb always met.

Another oddity is that although Joey was clearly hard, his cock was a bit softer than Ross’s. It made him wonder if Joey got even thicker if properly excited. Snoring still going on, Ross tentatively stroked his hand up to Joey’s cock head and then back down. 

Zzzzz

He could feel this thick tool pulse in his hand. He pumped again a few times slowly.

ZzzzZzz

Joey’s dick indeed got thicker, but how much harder could it get?

Having no prior-intention of this, Ross began to jack off his sleeping friend. Probably something he’d have to work out through therapy later, Ross began to masterbate himself with his right hand. 

Within moments, Ross’s left hand was soaked in pre. He was flabbergasted that someone could leak that much!

Then Ross’s stomach dropped. Joey’s hand grabbed onto Ross’s cock.

Ross froze, too terrified to look up at his friend. 

“No, no. Don’t stop Ross. That was feeling so gooood.”

“Joey, I’m sorry!” Ross was still staring down at Joey’s hand pumping his cock.

“No ‘sorrys’ needed. Just keep it up man, I was getting close.”

What a night, Ross thought. Not in a million years did he think Joey and him would be jacking each other off but here they were. He began pumping Joey’s cock.

Both men started to moan louder as they neared their climax. Ross felt himself getting close. “Joey… Joey I think I’m going to cum.”

“Good. Show me how much cum those big balls make.”

The unexpected dirty talk from Joey set him off. “Oh fuck!” Ross started to cum into Joey’s hand and onto his own chest. Ross was quite the shooter and he knew it. The first rope only hit his belly button but Joey angled his cock up a bit and the second and third landed up on his chest. 

The intense pleasure rippled through Ross’s body and not realizing it his grip had tightened on Joey’s thick dick during his climax. All these sensations triggered Joey’s own climax, far louder than Ross’s.

“Ooohhhhh yeah, baby! Fuuuuuck!”

Joey’s cum pattern was quite different than Ross’s. Joey’s cock didn’t really ‘shoot’ but instead seemed like a water faucet instantly turned on. A constant stream of cum spewed out onto Ross’s hand and pooled on Joey’s lower stomach. Although Ross was definitely more of an eruption, Joey may actually have had Ross beat in the sheer amount of liquid that poured out of him.

Ross continued to jack him off as Joey’s body shuddered with each stroke. 

“Wow…” Joey said.

“Yeah. That was.. Interesting.”

“And amazing!”

Ross hated to admit it, but it was true. 

“Okay, we should get cleaned up before our friends come looking for us.”

“Oh,” a voice called from behind them. “A bit too late for that, boys.”

Both men froze, looked at each other, and then looked up and over behind them. Chandler was standing at the doorway, eyes nearly popping out of his head.

Joey and Ross jumped up and turned to face Chandler, cum dripping down their very-naked bodies. Neither thought to cover themselves up in the surprise. “It’s not what it looks like!”

“Uh huh….” Chandler said, stunned. “I’ll… I’ll be downstairs dousing my eyes in bleach now!”

Chandler turned and went through the door, propping it with the pipe from last night.

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god!” Ross kept saying. “I can’t believe he caught us. OH MY GOD! We’re so screwed. Oh my god!”

“Yeah! I know! ...but how great was that handjob?”


End file.
